While the New World Order found much to celebrate in Bill and Hillary Clinton, we haven’t forgotten about our old friends. George Herbert Walker Bush, the 41st president of the United States, has been a loyal New World Order operative from a royal New World Order family, and has served us well. He was the one who introduced us to the world, and we’re proud to share this—our tribute to George the First—with our loyal subjects.

COMMON KNOWLEDGE:
George was born with a silver spoon in his mouth. His father, Prescott Bush, a loyal New World Order footsoldier and Nazi collaborator, paid for the young crowned prince’s private education, all the way through Yale.

Before going to Yale, however, Bush made a pitstop in the U.S. Navy. He was so eager to fight in World War II that he used his father’s influence to get a Navy piloting requirement—two years in college—waived. A year later, he was a Navy pilot. Bush put this time to good use, earning his wings as a soldier in the New World Order by abandoning two of his crewmates, leaving them for dead, and committing war crimes by strafing unarmed Japanese sailors in lifeboats.

George the First, the man who officially introduced the world to the New World Order. In this particular photo, George is smiling because he is remembering erotic bathing with members of the Order of the Skull & Bones.

George came back to a hero’s welcome and a free ticket to Yale on a “Daddy’s Paying My Tuition” scholarship. Naturally, he was “tapped” to join the Skull & Bones, a super-secret occult group dedicated to drug smuggling, political manipulation, and erotic bathing, all in the name of the New World Order. Very little else is known about George I’s days at Yale, since his academic records have been classified on the basis of “National Security.”

After he graduated form Yale, George I’s daddy got him a job working for the oil industry. After that job failed, he got him another one. Then he began working for the CIA.

George I was a busy boy in the 1950s and 1960s. He helped organize the Bay of Pigs invasion and the assassination of John F. Kennedy (as well as the cover-up). Already chairman of the Republican Party of Harris County, George decided to put his political career in motion officially, and served two terms in the United States House of Representatives starting in 1967. His attempt to gain a Senate seat was foiled by Democratic candidate Lloyd Bentsen, and the two would remain political rivals thereafter.

Unemployed and looking for work, Bush got his buddy Richard Nixon to make him ambassador to the United Nations. Here, Bush became good buddies with Chinese communists. (This connection allowed him to become a key player with the Chinese mafia.) George I also helped organize the Watergate break-in before becoming an envoy to China and arranging the genocide in Cambodia carried out by the Khmer Rouge.

In 1975, George I was recommended as a potential CIA director by White House staffer Dick Cheney. Despite a storm of criticism, we were able to use the Skull & Bones Society to get him the job. As Director of the CIA, George I arranged for the destabilizations of the governments of Britain and Australia on the order of Queen Elizabeth II, for whom George I continues to launder drug money.

Things were relatively quiet for George I for a while, then we saw fit to put him back into power. First, though, he had to do something for us. In short, we wanted Jimmy Carter out. The boy had too much of that darn “integrity” thing. Oh, sure, he was on our payroll, but he wasn’t doing much to help our cause. So, we had the Iranian government take several American citizens as hostages, and all George had to do was accuse Carter of refusing to make a hostage deal until the last minute to manipulate the electorate. The best part was this: we actually were stalling the release of the hostages, but it was to ensure that George I could become Vice President. Isn’t irony cool?

George the First with Barbara, known to most as the frumpy wife of the ex-president, but known to members of the New World Order as a vicious ninja warrior with a ravenous bloodlust.

On our orders, George I tried to have Pres. Ronald Reagan assassinated in 1981, but John Hinckley bumbled the job. For this transgression, we made sure he had a nice long vacation in a sanitarium. George I also attempted to assassinate the Pope that same year. He also helped us with gun-running and money laundering in the “Iran-Contra” scandal (George’s quid pro quo to the Iranians for helping him win the election) as well as drug smuggling and money laundering.

In return for his faithful service, we appointed George I to the presidency of the United States. From this vantage point, he was able to do all kinds of cool things: start the Gulf War (so that we could create military bases in other countries), commit war crimes, smuggle more drugs, steal money from millions of Americans in the Savings and Loan Crisis, and kill almost anyone who had ever shared a state with him.

Then, something wonderful happened: we got a better team for the job. Bill and Hillary Clinton rose on the New World Order’s horizon like a puff of methane from a recent Taco Bell customer. So the Clintons were in, and the Bushes were out.

That was okay with George, though. He still had plenty of other stuff to do. He joined the super-secret "Bohemian Club," where members not only have homosexual encounters with each other, but also engage in fun group activities like kidnapping, rape, pedophilia, sodomy, and ritual human sacrifice. He got to follow up on his assassination of John F. Kennedy by assassinating John F. Kennedy, Jr. He got to kill Missouri governor (and Senate candidate) Mel Carnahan. And, best of all, he got to participate in a conspiracy with Mossad agent Monica Lewinski, Delta Force commando Linda Tripp, Chinese covert ops man Ken Starr, and New World Order star Bill Clinton to kill Vince Foster.

THE LESSER KNOWN HISTORY:
George I has taken up a new hobby: he is training to become a paratrooper for the New World Order. And, just like all of the other recruits, he looks forward to the day that he can jump from an unmarked black helicopter wearing a blue United Nations helmet and wielding a Chinese mind control ray gun to help imprison patriotic Americans everywhere.

The Bush FamilyPrescott BushGeorge Bush IGeorge II

Updated Jun 16, 2002

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