The Jewish Bankers were among the first of the vast conspiracy groups to emerge. In fact, the history of the Jewish Banker conspiracy predates the creation
of the universe. Yes, even before there was a planet, the Jewish Bankers were plotting to take it over. Surprisingly, the Jewish Bankers have managed—throughout the centuries—to remain
a leader in the evil conspiracy industry. We are proud to have them as part of the New World Order.
You can’t find a conspiracy theory that doesn’t involve the Jewish Bankers. This is because the Jewish Bankers were the very first
conspirators. As any good Aryan or conspiracy theorist can tell you, they are the literal spawn of Satan . In fact, it turns out that Jews
aren’t really Jews at all; only white people from Britain are really Jews. They’ve just forgotten that they’re Jews. (Probably through
some sort of mind control.) See, it all starts when God was experimenting with creation. It seems that Satan was doing some temp work for God, and God told him to invent people. Satan
botched up the job, of course, and created the “mud people”
(Africans, Asians, Slavs, etc.). God was not happy with this substandard work, and decided that if he wanted something done right, he had to do it himself. That’s when he created white people.
Satan got fired, and was naturally very upset about this, so he got Adam and Eve booted from Eden. Before their forced relocation, however, Satan (still rather bitter about being fired from his temp gig) managed to convince Eve to go for a roll in the hay. As a a result,
Eve got pregnant and had a son: Cain. Cain (being evil by his nature since he was the literal spawn of Satan) killed his brother, Abel. This royally pissed God off, so he sent Cain to Asia as punishment.
Fortunately for Cain, chicks tend to dig that “bad boy” image he had cultivated. Unfortunately, birth control methods in the early years of Creation weren’t that advanced yet. As a result, Cain ended up
fathering several children with the “mud people” and their descendants—the literal offspring of Satan—are the modern Jews. The real Jews—ten tribes worth—all got lost and at least two of them ended up in Great Britain. Meanwhile, back in Asia Minor, Cain’s
kids conspired to unite the world into a single government, mostly for the purpose of keeping secret books, killing Gentiles and having sex
with young Gentile girls. Somehow they managed to make the other tribes forget that they were the real Jews. Once this was accomplished, Cain’s kids took over and began calling themselves
“The Jews” (except for those who later moved to south Chicago; that sect was known as “Da Jews”).
The Bagel: a harmless breakfast food or an unspeakable tool of destruction?
A whole bunch of other stuff happened, the Jews killed Christ, and then in the late 1700s a Jew named Adam Weishaupt (cleverly
disguised as a Catholic priest) renounced Catholicism and created a Satanic cult. This organization, called The Illuminati, quickly gained the support of the Jews (being the spawn of Satan and all,
they were more than happy to make a planet full of his worshippers). One particular Jewish family, the Rothschilds, took a particular interest, and took control of the Illuminati. The Illuminati, in turn, took over the Freemasons.
The Rothschilds had a big family and a lot of money. In fact, they
had enough money to finance the French Revolution and every war
since. The Rothschilds had their family disperse throughout Europe and America with the intent of cooperating with other Jews to take
over all financial institutions. As revealed by Pat Robertson in his
book The New World Order, the Federal Reserve, Wall Street, the Council on Foreign Relations, the Tri-Lateral Commission and all international banks are now controlled by Jews. The Jews also control all media.
Using the power of the Illuminati and the money of the Rothschilds, the Jewish Bankers have created communism, set up a puppet U.S. government—known as the Zionist Occupational Government (ZOG)—and created liberalism and the Democratic Party.
THE LESSER KNOWN HISTORY:
There’s not much more to tell that the conspiracy theorists haven’t already figured out about the Jewish Bankers. It is important to note
that it was the Jewish Bankers and the Illuminati who pushed for the merger with the Space Aliens. Since the Space Aliens are demons (led by Satan, of course), the Jewish Bankers were eager to come to
the aid of their great-great-great-great-great-great-grandfather. As chief financiers of the New World Order, and a bridge between the various factions that make up our glorious organization, the Jewish
Bankers provide an invaluable service, and we are proud to have them as part of the conspiracy.