Cleverly disguised as a mild-mannered janitor at the University of Michigan, Koernke (better known as “Mark from Michigan” to his disciples) used his nightly radio show (“The Intelligence Report”) to reveal embarrassing truths about the New World Order.

Somehow, Koernke even managed to come across actual photographs of one of our concentration camps located in the United States!  Koernke has also figured out and exposed our plans to plant microchips into the bodies of children, to insert barcodes into dollar bills so we can use scanners to find out how much money people have, and to use FEMA and the Crips and Bloods to take over the country for the U.N.

Koernke has an amazing insight into our plans. The 1994 crime bill passed by Congress was disguised as a moderate measure to help reduce violent crime in America. Koernke saw through our facade, however, telling a group of militia freedom fighters in 1994 that “No longer will we be free to meet in any home, no longer will we be free to meet in public, the videotapes, anything we have on the videotapes, anything you have on written material, will probably be a crime.” This obviously made us back off of our plans to use the bill to conduct house-to-house searches. Koernke also discovered our death camp just outside Indianapolis, an extensive facility cleverly disguised as an Amtrak repair facility. Koernke even had plans for what he would do when we launched our invasion: he and his followers would cede from the U.S. and become the “Republic of Michigan,” to the great delight of all who live there. This would, of course, be devastating to our forces, as there is a lot of great fishing in the Upper Peninsula.

Mark Koernke, a man who is always out standing in his field, worked by day as a janitor and by night as a covert operative of the resistance forces, single-handedly thwarting many of our plots through his clandestine radio broadcasts.

Koernke came to national prominence after the Oklahoma City bombing of 1995. His exposure of our use of the city as FEMA’s “processing centre for detainees in the western half of the U.S.” helped us pick the place where we would frame Timothy McVeigh; if McVeigh knew about Oklahoma City, it made sense that a fine, upstanding Koernke follower like him would pinpoint his attack there to do the most damage. We could then use the explosion as an excuse to launch an all-out assault on the resistance militia. Minutes after the bombing, Koernke’s office sent a fax to Rep. Steve Stockman (R-Texas), a gun control opponent of whom Koernke was a fan. The fax—which read "First update. Bldg 7 to 10 floors only. Military people on scene - BATF/FBI. Bomb threat received last week. Perpetrator unknown at this time."—was then passed on to the NRA before it was forwarded to the FBI. Koernke’s attention to the case made us shake in our boots and we abandoned our assault on the resistance.

In 1998, Koernke nearly cost us one of our most valuable operatives when he encouraged his fellow patriots to assassinate Assistant U.S. Attorney Lloyd Meyer. Fortunately, Koernke was arrested by our jackbooted thugs and held on on weapons, assault, and various other charges, despite his clever attempt to hide from our helicopters by jumping into a pond. Although we released him because we thought our mind control techniques had taken hold, he went back to alerting the public about our plans, forcing us to use police to kidnap him again after a high-speed car chase in the spring of 2000. With any luck, he’ll be confined to re-education in our Area 53 Concentration Camp for some time to come. Needless to say, his clandestine attacks on our cause have been ended for the time being.

Updated Jun 16, 2002